My office is having a lot of redecoration going on, just down the corridor, and there are new security features for our safety, such as keeping the lavatory locked at all times. Keys have been issued to each of the tenants. There's a basic problem with the new system. In the old days you could go to the loo, lock the door and do your thing. Now that we have keys there's a huge problem, because anyone can open the door from the outside and burst in on you. It gets worse. The mensroom key fits the ladiesroom. The last thing any of the guys in this building want is women stepping up to the urinal. Of course its okay for us to use their perfumed boudoir in an emergency. It gets even more insane. I reached for my key this afternoon, headed down the corridor only to discover that some rebel had stolen the mensroom door off its hinges. No kidding. Now, I know the obvious thing is to say that the painters probably took it off to paint it. Nooooooooo. It had already been painted!!!!! So I stormed off to the building management and made a spectacle of myself claiming the new lavatorial security system to have been flushed out on day one.

PS will whoever took our door, please put it back.